This competition forced me to push myself artistically and emotionally in a way I have never experienced. I learned a lot about my creative process and how to fight the urge to give up. In the beginning, there were many nights when I wanted to throw up my hands. I had been working so hard, with each piece taking over 40 hours to create and I wasn't sure if I wanted to be judged. I didn't think I was secure enough to compete with other amazingly talented people. I wasn't sure if putting myself out there was worth it.
This show was a huge investment of time and energy and there were days when I wanted to sleep so badly and thought about quitting. I am not one to just quit but I was in a place of mental exhaustion and with school taking a back seat, I was investing all the energy I had into this competition. Finally, I stopped thinking about the competition... about being critiqued, and decided to focus on creating pieces that I could sell and that I was proud of. I forced myself to stop trying to figure out what the judges would like and began focusing on what I loved to make.
I have pushed myself at work and I have pushed myself in school but I had never pushed for my art. Designing has always been a hobby and I have never consumed caffeine in the middle of the night with the intention to just be creative. To look into myself and my creative process was an all consuming experience. Taking the time and not just squeezing my hobby into my busy schedule was stressful (the rest of my life was literally put on hold) and mind blowing because I could focus on MY art.
I am so glad that people appreciated my work enough to vote for me and the judges were able to see a potential I was unaware I possessed. I am so grateful to all my family and friends that came out and supported me and my designs. The competition was insanely tough and I am over the moon with relief and gratitude.
|my "display" with my super fine models.|
|blue stickers = votes (which counted for 50%, the judges vote was the other 50)|
|My brother and I trying to teach my mom "duck face" while we waited for results.|
This year has been amazing and the Raw show was the icing on the cake. I am so happy at the progress I have made. I am ready for things to calm down now and look forward to a quiet winter with my family. Thanks for looking and supporting me on this journey. Love, Ms. Kate