r.i.p. 853

Yesterday I mentioned that my husband is dealing with a lot of shop drama. In the past few months this "drama"  has cast an extremely miserable shadow over our home. My husband has been so distracted and is dealing with so much crap. He hasn't been able to be here for Henson and it is starting to take its toll.

This has been so tough for me to write about. I am not kidding when I say this is my twelfth attempt. Maybe it is because I am so overtired or maybe it is because my feelings are a conflicted mess of sadness and hope. Whatever the reason, I have been unable to find my voice during this drama. Please bare with me as I try and find the words and struggle through this.

I must start by saying that Pat is one of the most determined people I have ever met. ...years ago he decided to quit being a piercer and focus on a tattoo apprenticeship. Traditionally, being a tattoo apprentice is tough work. Apprentices often deal with harassment, abuse and general hazing (similar to practices found in a fraternity induction) from their mentor and peers. Pat's experience was no different. We had just started dating and I watched as he coped with some serious abuse. He dealt with it and would come home after a long day to practice his art for hours. I would often wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of a stirring paintbrush in a water glass. Pat would scrutinize everything he did often until dawn. He was determined to be a good artist and to this day it is not uncommon for me to pull giant paintings out of the trash because according to Pat they just "aren't right."

All his stress has paid off though because he has become extremely talented. Sometimes he will show me photographs of tattoos  and I am actually surprised that he did them!! I have seen his talent blossom as he has gained great skill. People have taken notice and we are often stopped at the grocery store, concerts or restaurants by people all too willing to show off the work Pat did.

Even with his talent Pat's scrutiny has not gone away. When he and his business partner (ironically, his mentor) set out to build their own shop my husband analyzed every step. Pat does not dive in (that's my job) and after meticulous planning they opened Liberty Tattoo LLC in 2008.

In those early days I remember going to garage sales to find furniture for the shop. I remember Pat's physical pain as he lay tile and painted walls. Those days were tough and we had to rely on help from friends and family. Eventually, after a lot of physical labor, Pat and his partner had a shop that was open for business.

Through the years the shop has grown into a successful business. Liberty has added new employees and the clientele has increased. Last year, I was in class (in a town MILES from the shop) and a fellow classmate recognized me from Facebook, realized I was Pat's wife, and began raving about how great Liberty was! So awesome.

I was so proud. My husband had built a thriving business in the midst of a shitty economy and had been able to provide for his family. So imagine our alarm when we heard that the building was going to be torn down! Yep, through the grapevine Pat heard the building was being sold and demolished to put in a parking lot. My poor husband had worked so hard and this rumor was traumatizing. Of course, panic set in as we tried to clarify what exactly was going on. After many phone calls we learned that Liberty's landlord was selling the building, it was going to be torn down, and they had to wait for a letter that would indicate when they needed to be out.

All of a sudden we had no idea what would happen to Liberty. Originally, I was supposed to stay home with Henson and Pat would tend to the business as usual. All of a sudden everything was up in the air. We had waited to start a family until the shop was established. We had a plan! We were supposed to be thriving and basking in the glow of parenthood. Instead we were agonizing over what our lives would look like in a year. Everyone was stressed out. I began looking for work. We were more careful with our money because we didn't know how long it needed to last. Life is tough enough with a newborn and adding such bizarre circumstances put my family on serious edge.

That being said, I never lost faith in Pat. It is possible that I was just too tired to lose sleep over the whole situation. I was still recovering from childbirth and Henson's stint in the hospital so maybe I was too stressed about too many things to give the shop my focus. Early on, Pat told me I had to stop telling him that things would work out (he's a bit of a pessimist, and rightly so) but I always believed they would.

Once the anger subsided, the boys at Liberty began looking for a new location. That is when the true struggle began. It turns out that even though Liberty was a successful business some people were not very accepting of my husband and his collegues. In a time when everyone has tattoos we assumed that the town Liberty was in, Berlin, CT, would be more welcoming and accommodating. Poor Liberty. Just when we thought it had a new location and things were going to work out, everything would get tied up in red tape and a small town political agenda. It was a disaster. Pat and his partner would talk to their realtor, find a location, get everything planned and then it wouldn't work out. This happened over and over as the moving date drew closer.

One night, Pat came home and told me that Liberty would have to rent a storage unit because they couldn't find a new location in time. The sadness was paralyzing. My husband had worked so hard and had been so careful. Our life had been flipped upside-down due to something we never would have imagined. We have always had a little money saved in case of an emergency like car repairs or a broken water heater but the idea of closing up a successful business was insane. I kept looking for work. In January I sent my resume to nineteen different job listings and in February I sent it to twelve! I searched, I called, I typed emails one handed while I rocked Henson. By the end of February things were looking pretty hopeless.

Spoiler Alert: if you work as crazily hard as my husband does things will work out.

After many failed attempts Liberty had a new home with a cooperative landlord in the beginning of March!! Once they had the keys the boys set out to make a tattoo shop unlike any other. They built walls, lay tile, put in plumbing and painted. Everyone has worked together and there is light at the end of this horrible tunnel. The journey has been so insane (and it is not over yet) but as we wait for inspections I am overwhelmed with hope.

I was always told that if you work hard you can accomplish anything and all this drama was a real testament to that. It is so disheartening to think that you can sacrifice so much and work so hard just to potentially lose it. I need to believe that business can thrive and that good people can prosper. We will never be millionaires and I will continue to look for a job, but my husband has given the worst case scenario the bird. Through blood, sweat and so many tears Liberty is turning into a beautiful shop that will be stronger than ever. They are adding more artists and all the rooms are private. The new Liberty is going to be amazing and I can't wait to get tattooed in the new space! Congratulations Pat and the boys at Liberty. This next chapter is going to be fantastic.

Phew! Thanks for letting me vent. After the final touches are complete I will blog about the new place. Thanks for looking. Love, Ms. Kate.